In The Sound of Music, a bunch of nuns sing “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” A few days ago, Stephanie asked “What do you do with Grady Sizemore?” That post got me to thinking about the $13 million elephant in the room, Travis Hafner.

I want to preface this conversation by noting my undying love for Travis Hafner. In our house, he’s known as Mommy’s Dirty Little Secret. However, I’m starting to think that Mommy’s Dirty Little Secret has to go. He’s under contract for $13 million in 2012 with a  $13 million club option for 2013 with a $2.75 million buyout. His contract has a limited no-trade clause allowing him to block trades to certain unspecified clubs. He’s batting .281 this season, but has only 324 plate appearances, which doesn’t qualify him for anything except the $40 grand per plate appearance club.

How can you justify paying a guy that much to DH in 100 games for 50 RBI? It’s a lousy return on your investment. The question is, “What do you do with him?” Given the injuries Hafner has had the past couple of years, I’m not sure the Indians would find any takers if they tried to trade him. I think the best we could hope to get for him would be a couple of low-ranking prospects. Buying out his contract is not an attractive option either. One solution would be to make back his salary is by selling Travis Hafner and Grady Sizemore paper doll sets.

At this point, it seems appropriate. Any other creative solutions?

 

3 Comments

  • Stephanie Liscio says:

    I remember when they named the outfield mezzanine “Pronkville” and he was always injured or terrible and never seemed to hit it there. So we renamed the lip of the outfield grass “Pronkville” and when he’d ground out for the 4 billionth time in a row, we’d yell “he hit it to Pronkville!”

  • Derrek in Utah says:

    I have a simple solution!!! We void his contract on the grounds of miss representation of personal details on his employment paperwork. I am right, I just know it, follow me here…

    When Hafner filled out his contract with the Indians he put “North Dakota” as State of Birth. Hafner was in fact born in North Dakota, however, as most people know due to an error in their Constitution North Dakota is not actually a State but a Territory. Saying he was born in the “State” of North Dakota is a clear misrepresentation of his place of origin! North Dakota by it’s own admission is NOT a State therefore his contract is null and void(In fact he might owe the Indians money).

    One might argue that Puerto Rico is a territory yet it is valid to put in the state section of a form. However, Puerto Rico is a Commonwealth Territory so it is legally acceptable. I propose that due to the misrepresentation of their own constitution North Dakota must be treated as an unincorporated, unorganized territory much the same as the Johnson Atol is a territory of the US, but is not acceptable in the “State” field of an employment application.

    BOOM, Problem solved, contract voided!!!!

    P.S. Sorry everyone from ND, I live in Utah, I really shouldn’t be throwing stones…

  • Stephanie Liscio says:

    HA! That’s brilliant!