#gluttony

March 16, 2013

Which teams in the American League Central Division care the most about their fans?

If caring about their fans means limiting their exposure to cheap, fatty meats via promotions such as Dollar Dog nights, where fans can buy hot dogs for the low, low price of $1 each, then it’s a three-way tie between the Kansas City Royals, the Detroit Tigers, and the Chicago White Sox. I checked, and none of these teams is offering even ONE such promotion during the 2013 season. If you live in any of these three cities and you want to chow down on hot dogs while rooting for your team, you’d better be prepared to pay top prices at each and every game. That may be hard on your wallet, but it’s arguably a good thing for your arteries.

By contrast, the Minnesota Twins have 12 “Schweigert Dollar-A-Dog Day” events on their 2013 promotional schedule. That’s a lot of opportunities to buy discounted wieners. Heck, the Indians had only eight such events in 2012.

But that was last year, and this year things are different. The 2013 Indians promotional schedule features 15 Sugardale Dollar Dog Nights. Fifteen! I love the Dollar Dog promotion as much as the next man, unless that man happens to be Takeru Kobayashi. But even I was surprised to learn that there are that many Dollar Dog Nights scheduled for this season. Either this promotion helps sell a lot of tickets to Tribe games, or the organization still has tons of leftover hot dogs from last year which they’re desperate to unload to hungry Clevelanders. Let’s hope it’s the former.

So thanks, Indians, I guess, for giving us so many opportunities to gorge ourselves on hot dogs this season. But the moralist scold in me feels compelled to wag the finger of disapproval, and to point out that eating massive quantities of red (or even reddish) meat isn’t the healthiest thing in the world. The moralist scold in me is disappointed with the Tribe for relying so heavily on this promotion this year.

Oh, who am I kidding? Shut up, moralist scold! Bring on the Dollar Dogs! And don’t skimp on the Bertman Ball Park Mustard. We can all have salads and tofu the next day.

6 Comments

  • Duke says:

    Dunno about up there, but here in Baltimore those $1 dogs are always in that crappy foil wrapper so the bun is soggy by the time you get to it. Yuck.

  • Wyatt says:

    I love the title- gluttony. It cuts right to the heart of the matter! lol

  • medfest says:

    The dollar dogs at Progressive field are foil wrapped Sugardale wieners just like you get at the store.Quality is usually pretty good,of course,Bertman’s Ballpark Mustard would make the wrapper taste good(get a cup of it for dipping is my advice).

    Seems like the dollar dog nights are tied in with the fireworks nights quite a few times,trying to goose the crowds into the thirties,since 25,000 is the norm for the Boom-Booms(Best in the big leagues,if you can you should definitely catch them.Rock and Blast is pretty awesome as well.)

    I’m personally looking forward to Albert Belle bobblehead night.Will the eyes whirl?

    • Swift says:

      “I’m personally looking forward to Albert Belle bobblehead night.Will the eyes whirl?”
      Multiple choice:

      No, but its filled with cork.

      No, but its filled with rage.

      No, but it comes with a broken thermostat.

      No, but it has the bobble arm-flex.

      :D Don’t get me wrong, I love Albert. He was psycho, but he was our psycho.

    • no1ever says:

      Jason Grimsley crawls under the seats and replaces it with a Kenny Lofton bobblehead.

  • DP Roberts says:

    Dollar dogs? What a ripoff! The Clippers have six DIME-A-Dog nights. I love walking up to the concessions booth at a Clippers game with no bills on me, digging around in my pockets for a couple of lint-covered nickels, and walking off with two fistfuls of food. It makes me feel like I’m in Great Britain, where pocket change can actually buy you some stuff.

1 Trackback or Pingback