“People ask me what I do in the winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.”
—Rogers Hornsby

The major league baseball season has finally ended, and we’re all a little poorer for it. I did want the Giants to beat the Tigers in the World Series,  but I was sort of disappointed that they did it in a sweep, because I wanted to see more baseball games. It would have been nice to see if Justin Verlander could have won Game 5, had there been a Game 5. Alas, we’ll never know.

Each of us deals with the end of baseball season in his or her own way. The quotation above tells you how The Rajah used to deal with it. Here are a few of the things I’ve done in the past few days to try to cope with the loss of my favorite sport:

  • Work on rewriting the lyrics to the Genesis song “Squonk” and retitling it “Pronk” in honor of Travis Hafner
  • Pay neighborhood children to recreate the last three innings of the best game of the Indians’ 2012 season, when the Tribe scored four runs in the seventh inning off Verlander to come from behind and beat the Tigers, 5-3
  • Issue Facebook friend invitations to Scott Maine, Chris Seddon, and Corey Kluber. No replies yet, but fingers crossed
  • Order five dozen cookies from Meryl Masterson’s Home Plate Cookies. Next time I might order more than a day’s worth, though. Those cookies are mighty tasty, believe me
  • Hire Tribe mascot Slider to come to my home and sit next to me as I silently weep. While this was actually very therapeutic for me, I don’t think Slider cared for it very much; although he never speaks, he made it clear to me that he wouldn’t come back again, even if I paid twice the usual rate
  • Proclaim every night “Dollar Dog Night” at my house. I cook myself hot dogs, then charge myself a dollar for each one I eat. Here’s the genius part of this plan: I use the revenue to buy more hot dogs at the supermarket! I haven’t worked out all the bugs yet, but I’m pretty sure I can make a tidy profit if I keep this up all winter long
  • Stare out the window and wait for spring

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