So we’re a little late, because we were shoving food in our face.  Indians already have second and third with no outs…let’s do this!

So now Sanchez decides to throw strikes?

I think I could count the people in attendance at this game.  Maybe we should just all be invited into the dugout?

One of my favorite things about when the Royals come to town is Jeff Francoeur.  You may be asking yourself, why Jeff Francoeur?  Because even though the camera may not show it, Jeff Francoeur continually touches himself out in right field.  The entire time someone’s at bat, his hands can’t stay still.  It’s an ongoing joke between my friend and I.

If you’re a Simpsons fan, you may remember the episode where the Simpsons visit the defunct mall, and there is a book store named “Rock Bottom Remainders.”  In Rock Bottom Remainders, the camera happens to flash on a book named “Kansas City Royals: Forever Champions.”  I always think of this with the Royals.

Look, it’s the Royals ace pitcher, Mitch Maier!

So per the scoreboard between inning thing, apparently the entire team thinks that Asdrubal Cabrera has the worst hair.  They put Asdrubal on the scoreboard and I’m pretty sure he had adult braces.  Someone commented that he looked 12.  When did that happen?

Susan has taken over writing for a while…

Hannahan walks on four straight balls. Not a bad start to an inning.

Come on, Cunningham, time to start justifying your roster spot… Okay, yet another walk. I’ll take it.

Dang, Sanchez has thrown 24 balls and 21 strikes so far. Why would anyone in the Indians lineup swing at the first pitch? He’s still in at the top of the third.

A couple of nice hits from Santana and Duncan got through. Hannahan, a two-out rally please?

Sanchez seems to have found a bit of a groove. He’s throwing more strikes to balls now. I think the Indians batters can still do some damage if they’re patient (and can keep themselves from being distracted by the sight of Francoeur touching himself).

Oh. Or not.

Great defensive play by Hannahan to start the inning. And Cunningham slightly redeemed himself for his lousy batting average with a nice catch in center that certainly prevented a run.

Last three Royals batters have gone straight up the middle. Two were hits. All followed what appeared to be the exact same trajectory.

Two pansy-waisted bunts by Escobar and Getz to load the bases. Seriously?

Back to Steph.

Sooooo…just a thought.  If the Indians manage to load the bases with nobody out this inning, they may want to try and score.  Don’t just pop up, and ground weakly into double plays.

They have this banner you can sign in the Social Suite.  Because I’m insane, I insisted on drawing the cows.  I was being super careful, because it has some permanence, etc.  Long story short, I think I just got high off of the Sharpie.

Those are some pretty loud boos, considering there are approximately 15 people here.

Thank you BOTCHMAN!

Please forgive me while I go on a Sharpie-high induced rant here.  So Jonathan Sanchez is all over the place.  Lots of walks, knocking people down, etc.  The Indians could theoretically be up about 5-0 right about now, but instead they just end up looking kind of ridiculous at the plate.  Why are the terrible at home?  Why do I keep coming here, nearly freezing to death, to see bad at-bats?

Hosmer and Gordon have both looked pretty bad at the plate so far this season.  I really hope if their bats wake up, it’s after they leave Cleveland.

I feel like Sanchez has thrown 300 pitches tonight.  I’m kind of surprised it’s only 91.

Francoeur: Belt, butt, hat, belt, butt…hand on knee.  That was your touching update.

I’ve set the bar so low, I’ll gladly take a sac fly at this point.

Sanchez is at 110 pitches.

I would just like to say that those runs were scored after I created this whole setup:

I totally missed that double, because I was making people look at pictures of my dog on my phone.  That’s sad.

Kotchman may infuriate me at the plate, but I have to give props to his defense.

I’m tired of watching Aaron Cunningham.  Just hurry up and make your out and go back to the dugout.

Thank you Cunningham.

Susan here again…

Kipnis hits a REAL bunt and runs that sucker out. That’s the way to do it, son.

And now Kipnis steals second. Nice.


Wow, it seems like Sanatana has been at bat for about six hours now…

7th inning stretch. Belting out “It’s One! Two! Three strikes you’re out!” really is a joy.

Pestano now pitching for the Indians. And Brantley is now in center. Cunningham moved to left.

Vinnie, I want one quick inning out of you. What is this?

Wow, Moustakas. That’s like an Ellis Island ID photo.

Ball hit into the right field corner. Choo manages to find it and get it in, so only one run scored. Seriously, Vinnie. It’s time to end this flipping inning already.

Conference on the mound. Two gutys are up in the Indians bullpen, assuming one is C. Perez. Pestano stays in.  28 pitches so far this inning.

And one pitch #30, the ball comes right back to Pestano. He holds onto for a second, then tosses it to first. Stud.

Jefffress in for KC. And hey! Aaron Cunningham gets a lead-off single. He’s still not batting his weight, but I’m glad for the hit.

Okay, Stephanie is coming back.

I feel like actually witnessing an Aaron Cunningham hit is something magical, like seeing a unicorn.

Approximately 30% of all comments I’ve made tonight either involve complaining about Aaron Cunningham, or giving a play by play of Jeff Francoeur touching himself.

Jason Donald is on deck for Choo.  Didn’t Acta say something about how it would take a bus crash for Donald to play outfield? Was there a bus crash between innings?

My friend: “Who the hell is Jason Donald?”  Exactly.

Santana saw about 6,000 pitches tonight.  I hate the unproductive out with the bases loaded, but I at least like that he made the pitcher work for it.

I really don’t want to see them strand the bases loaded again.

I would just like to point out that Chris Perez got warmed up, then sat for at least the Hafner at-bat…maybe longer.  Last time I saw him warm up and then sit was on Opening Day.  We all remember what happened on Opening Day.

Thankfully his velocity is much better than Opening Day!

I honestly thought that last one was gone.  Just a long strike.

And so it comes down to Francoeur.  He needs that “I Touch Myself” song as walk-up music.

He’ll have to go touch himself back in the dugout.  I swear I thought I was in for another 16 inning game.


  • Brenden Lowery says:

    Hey ladies, I hope the game is going well! Stay warm up there!

    Funny thing is, when the camera pans around the field, I thought to myself “My graduating class at Thiel (less than 200) is larger than tonight’s crowd.” Seems as if you have to pay people to attend April home games anymore!

  • Stephanie Liscio says:

    I still think we should all be invited into the dugout…I’m pretty sure we’d fit.

  • Brenden Lowery says:

    If everyone ran onto the field and bolted to the dugout at the same time, I do not think security could stop you guys, I vote go for it!

    As I am working on finishing a paper, I now find myself making pathetic tribe comparisons. Here are a couple for your reading pleasure (In case Aaron Cunningham’s at bats are fun enough to watch live):

    1.) Who could throw a baseball farther: Aaron Cunningham right-handed, or Carlos Santana left-handed? (Santana? Anyone? Seriously I bet he can out-throw Cunningham with his feet.)


    2.) How many jams will Derek Lowe work out of this year (my vote 50+)

    or my personal favorite…

    3.) How many more times will tribe hitters swing at the first pitch tonight?

  • Stephanie Liscio says:

    I have trouble throwing from second to first, but I think I can challenge Cunningham. I’m pretty sure I throw further than Damon.

    And that first pitch crap makes me want to fling a chair onto the field.

  • Steve says:

    Seems like April and May were a lot “warmer” in the 90′s when we had a playoff team on the field.

  • Steve says:

    #1 rule of bunt club, you do not talk about bunt club. Come on Kipnis, that’s a man card violation, swing the bat.

  • Jeremy C says:

    Not much of a turn out. My dad and I made and brought “fill in fans” made out of poster board. Very popular out in right field

  • Mary Jo says:

    1) Rock Bottom Remainders are also the name of a band that is headed up by humor writer Dave Barry. I doubt even he could find humor in the way we can strand runners on base.

    2) LOVE your pet name for our first baseman! Will probably steal it. ;-)

    3) Dear Chris Perez: I’m getting older every day (some days quicker because of your pitching). Could we please get through the season without me having to suffer a heart attack? Thank you.

    4) We won. In the end that’s all that counts, right?

  • Kelly Shedlock says:

    Can you say WAHOOOOOOO!

  • Stephanie Liscio says:

    I have to say, I almost like having the stadium to myself. I don’t have to wait in line to go to the bathroom, there’s no traffic when I leave. Plus the fans that actually show up are pretty hard core!

    I’m also cracking up at the poster board fans…that’s a pretty brilliant idea!

    When you have the bases loaded with less than 2 outs, and you can’t even hit a fly ball, it makes me want to weep.

    Even though it’s only April, and it’s a 3-way tie for first, I will definitely take it! Tribe is 8-2 in their last 10 games.