The Indians swept their one-game series at Fenway Park on Monday evening, thanks to a fine pitching performance by Trevor Bauer and a couple of two-run blasts by Edwin Encarnacion.

I know, you’ve got questions. I’ve got answers!

Q. “One-game series?”
A. Yeah, sort of. This game was played to make up for a rainout at Fenway on August 2. The Red Sox won the first two games of what should have been a three-game series, so if you want to tack this one on to the end of that one, then the Indians didn’t really win a series at all. But where’s the fun in that?

Q. “Bauer power?” Can you elaborate?
A. I can and will! Young Trevor had another fine outing, his fourth in a row. He went 6 2/3 innings and gave up three runs, each of which was via the solo home run. He allowed four other hits, walked only two batters, and struck out 11 Bostonians. MLB calls that a quality start, and you know what? I do, too.

Q. “Waitin’ on the Double E?” What’s that mean?
A. It means that after the third Red Sox homer, the score was tied at 3-3. It then fell to Cleveland’s EE, Edwin Encarnacion, to do what the Indians front office hoped he would do when they signed him: hit dingers with guys on base. And he did that, twice. The first homer came in the fifth inning, when EE hit a ball way over the Green Monster and out of the park in left field. It’s fun to watch a ball sail over that wall, especially if it happens when a member of the Indians hits it out. That made the score 5-3. And he did it again the next inning. It didn’t leave the park that time, but it was a home run for real, and it counted just as much. That made the score 7-3.

Q. Is “waiting on the Double E” from a song or something? It sounds sort of familiar.
A. Indeed it is, my perceptive friend! It’s from the fine song “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me,” written by the late but immortal Warren Zevon. His version can be found here. Perhaps you are more familiar with the versions recorded by Linda Ronstadt, or by Terri Clark. Those are also fine versions! There are others, too. Collect them all!

Q. How did the Indians bullpen do?
A. It did very well! Tyler Olson pitched a scoreless inning, keeping his ERA at 0.00. He struck out two batters. Bryan Shaw faced one batter and struck him out. Joe Smith pitched to four batters in the ninth and struck two of them out. Nobody scored against any of these pitchers.

Q. So the final score was 7-3, then?
A. Yes! I should have mentioned that earlier. Sorry!

Q. Do they pay you to write this kind of stuff?
A. No, we here at IPL do it for the love of the game. And for the exposure! We found a store that lets you buy coffee, paper towels, and ground chuck with exposure instead of cash, so it’s kind of nice.

Q. Can you tell me where that store is?
A. Not on your life, pal.

The Indians now venture to Minneapolis, where they will play a three-game series with the Twins, who were idle on Monday. This means the Tribe now holds a five-game lead in the AL Central. Woo hoo!

1 Comment

  • Michael Strozewski says:

    Well done Vern. I hope you are able to obtain maximum exposure so that you may continue to get free coffee and ground beef.