Suddenly, the Indians have become an offensive juggernaut. Predictably, it led to many to ask all sorts of questions. Such as:
“Where was this all year?”
“Are we certain that all of the guys traded over the past week and a half weren’t the guys that Kipnis was referencing?
“Who is Abraham Almonte? Can we clone him?”
“Am I awake? Is this heaven?”
You get the idea.
The way things have felt this weekend, you would’ve thought it was the mid-90s all over again, when the Indians routinely battered and the Twins en route to another AL Central title. For the last three days, the Indians hitters were Ronda Rousey and the Twins’ pitching staff was Bethe Correia; over-matched, outclassed and thoroughly without answers to curb the onslaught.
It was a sight to behold, simply because we haven’t seen a sustained throttling like this all year. With 2015 now being a season of unfulfilled expectations and a look into next season and beyond, it seems like the new faces have reinvigorated a floundering club. Before the flurry of movement that saw a shipload of dead weight jettisoned, the Indians were a dead-eyed team that was playing into October simply because that’s when the season ends this year.
Now? New faces have sparked the club. And behind their ace today, the Twins never had a chance.
Let’s start with the ho-hum, unsurprising, typical stuff. Corey Kluber was his usual self. He threw a complete game. He carried a no-hitter into the seventh inning. He struck out ten. He makes it all look so effortless and we are spoiled by his routine greatness.
Now let’s talk about Abraham Almonte. He apparently likes it in Cleveland. A day after a four-hit monster debut, he clubbed another two-run homer today. And Chris Johnson had a 4-for-4 day, which already makes him more popular than Michael Bourn and Nick Swisher ever were. He also turned Twins left-fielder Shane Robinson into a bug splattered on the wall, which made me laugh because it’s always funnier when someone else looks dumb and it’s a guy on the other team. I am also a horrible person. I have no regrets.
The Indians threw Phil Hughes (3 INN/9 H/7 R/2 SO/1 BB) around like a rag doll. All the damage was done early, so we all got to sit back and watch KLUBOT do his thing. Of course, Joe Mauer had to play hero and ruin the whole no-hitter thing. I’m pretty sure I’ll never see one, for or against, with my own eyes. Then Corey felt charitable in the ninth and let the Twins have a Participation Ribbon run in the ninth inning. Because he’s a nice guy and I am not.
All in all, 34 runs in three days? That’s pretty fun. Let’s hope the off-day doesn’t cool them off too much.
W: Corey Kluber (7-12); L: Phil Hughes (10-8)