I have become aware that certain people feel obliged to explain why they are sleepy in the morning.
Perhaps their boss needs to know why they are not entirely alert, ready to give a full effort toward making the employers rich.
Maybe some people feel obliged to obviate all suspicion that yesterday’s devoted companion was also last night’s companion.
Some people are simply envious of folks who have nocturnal fun.
Anyway, I offer this advice: don’t tell them you watched the Indians game in California, even if you did.
If you assert the Indians look good early, your doubters will say “they always look good EARLY!”
If you say the starting pitcher, Corey Kluber in this instance, looked great for the first few innings, you will be scolded again. That’s been the routine lately.
If you say the Indians failed to score in eight consecutive innings, well, you don’t need me to say how unsurprising that would be.
And if you say the opponents got a home run just when they needed it, you might as well offer to take a lie detector test because they are going to assume you were covering your mischief by reading a box score as you rode home in a cab.
Instead I offer you this nugget of truth that just might be believed: Tell them you like to leave the television on for white noise while you sleep but an obnoxious car commercial featuring a screaming woman kept waking you.
Who would doubt that?
Be careful to support your head properly so you don’t snore. They can hear that even from the back room.