Which teams in the American League Central Division care the most about their fans?
If caring about their fans means limiting their exposure to cheap, fatty meats via promotions such as Dollar Dog nights, where fans can buy hot dogs for the low, low price of $1 each, then it’s a three-way tie between the Kansas City Royals, the Detroit Tigers, and the Chicago White Sox. I checked, and none of these teams is offering even ONE such promotion during the 2013 season. If you live in any of these three cities and you want to chow down on hot dogs while rooting for your team, you’d better be prepared to pay top prices at each and every game. That may be hard on your wallet, but it’s arguably a good thing for your arteries.
By contrast, the Minnesota Twins have 12 “Schweigert Dollar-A-Dog Day” events on their 2013 promotional schedule. That’s a lot of opportunities to buy discounted wieners. Heck, the Indians had only eight such events in 2012.
But that was last year, and this year things are different. The 2013 Indians promotional schedule features 15 Sugardale Dollar Dog Nights. Fifteen! I love the Dollar Dog promotion as much as the next man, unless that man happens to be Takeru Kobayashi. But even I was surprised to learn that there are that many Dollar Dog Nights scheduled for this season. Either this promotion helps sell a lot of tickets to Tribe games, or the organization still has tons of leftover hot dogs from last year which they’re desperate to unload to hungry Clevelanders. Let’s hope it’s the former.
So thanks, Indians, I guess, for giving us so many opportunities to gorge ourselves on hot dogs this season. But the moralist scold in me feels compelled to wag the finger of disapproval, and to point out that eating massive quantities of red (or even reddish) meat isn’t the healthiest thing in the world. The moralist scold in me is disappointed with the Tribe for relying so heavily on this promotion this year.
Oh, who am I kidding? Shut up, moralist scold! Bring on the Dollar Dogs! And don’t skimp on the Bertman Ball Park Mustard. We can all have salads and tofu the next day.