I’ve never been a fan of onions–smug little things who pretend to be as humble as the next root vegetable even as they arrogantly push their way to the front of the flavor line. If there’s an onion in the mix, you’ll taste it. And smell it. To be honest, I’ve always felt the same way about the New York Yankees. They’re just a little pushy, a little too much in your face for my tastes. I’ve found very few people who are ambivalent about either one.
So when the Indians signed Nick Swisher as a free agent, I was a jumble of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was delighted that we had signed a great bat. On the other hand, he was a Yankee. Like many Indians fans, I had grown accustomed to the Indians signing guys I had hardly even heard of. Having them sign the guy who was #6 on the Top Free Agents list is just… different.
You don’t need to love every player on your home team. Players piss us off left and right, but I’ve never actually hated anybody on the Indians before. When he wore a Yankees uniform, I hated Nick Swisher. He and his big huge dimple just always looked so cocky when he came to bat. And he talks trash even when he’s playing ping pong. He just seemed to embody everything I hate about the Yankees. Okay, and onions.
But I’ll admit that he’s starting to grow on me. At the press conference to officially introduce him to the Cleveland media, he seemed genuinely excited to be here. And kind of nice, and not all that arrogant. He’s a Buckeye by birth. And he laughs like my late Uncle Jimmy. Perhaps he can add flavor and runs to our game without being overpowering. I’m learning to like onions in small quantities. So I suppose a couple of big-name ex-Yankees (in small quantities) can also be palatable to a Yankee hater. I hope he does well for us. If he’s anything like the purple onions in samosa chaat, it’ll be a great season.