Here we come a-caroling

In the spirit of the Christmas season, I have taken the liberty of rewriting some traditional Christmas carols in honor of selected Indians past and future.

To the tune of “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen”:

We wish you well, Jack Hannahan, in prayer we bow our heads,
We hope you and your family may rest well in your beds,
But still we’re glad you’ve left the Tribe and joined the Cincy Reds,
For last year you hit a mere .244,
.244,
For last year you hit a weak .244.

To the tune of “We Three Kings”:

The three kings of strikeouts are we,
Leading leagues in taking strike three.
We’ll hit long balls and take strike calls
And swing and miss, as you’ll see.

Oh, Reynolds, Stubbs, and Swisher, too:
You’ll soon learn what we will do
Since we’ve signed up, still the lineup’s
Better now than last year’s crew.

To the tune of “O Come All Ye Faithful”:

Roberto Hernandez,
Or whate’er your name is,
O go ye, o go ye to Tampa Bay.
When you were Fausto,
You had some good seasons,
But not as Hernandez,
But not as Hernandez,
But not as Hernandez,
So adiós.