‘Tis time for the silly season, folks.
But nonononono, it is time something much bigger than the Winter Meetings rumors and flirtations! Apparently, the Tribe has their hands in every cookie jar they see, but we are an increasingly fickle bunch; we know better than to place too much stock into what’s floating out there. We’ll never get a straight answer anyway, so let us do away with the bloviation and guess-work and get down to what really matters: Pure greed and unbridled wanting, no matter how unrealistic!
Think of this as our (my?) letter to Santa. Kinda. Ehhh, sorta… It’s Chris Antonetti on a moderate-at-best budget. No matter how good we’ve (I’ve?) been this year, there could be coal in the form of someone like Andy Marte hanging in our (my?) stockings just waiting to tease us with a monster Spring Training, only to spend the most of the season corkscrewing himself into the ground, fanning us all during a hot July day with a mighty, yet hopeless hack at a twelve-to-six curve.
I’m such a optimist. Let’s get on with it:
On the first day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: A nice haul in return for Choo. The guy is gone (I’ve read/seen some wishing upon stars that he’d stay; that’s not happening), so we need to maximize the return. And it must be one that pans out. No exceptions this time.
On the second day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: A trade destination for Asdrubal that’s not Detroit. He’s better than Jhonny, and that’s what bothers me. If some rumors come to fruition, do we really want him rubbing it in our faces all season long?
On the third day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Logan Morrison. If for nothing else, just to have him paired with Vinny Pestano or Jason Kipnis for the title of the team “Twitter King.” Get these guys a show or something. If we’re gonna stink for a year or two, we might as well have fun with it. (The guy is a pretty solid player, too.)
On the fourth day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Okay, not us, really, but why not give Skipper some comforts of home? Chicken and beer everyday in the clubhouse.
On the fifth day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: FIVE GOLDEN WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIPS. (C’mon, as if you didn’t see that coming!)
On the sixth day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: A closer who prefers to be seen and not heard. Then again, if Perez gets dealt, it’s likely Vinnie P.’s job. And we love him. Hmmm… Talk away, VP! Just leave us out of it. Oh, and puking on the mound can be left out, too.
On the seventh day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Giancarlo/Mike/Hercules Stanton. Package-deal with LoMo. Please? Oh, he’s too big to fit in your GM-sleigh? Nuts…
On the eighth day of Tribe Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Kevin Youkilis. We need a new “GCG” (Great Clubhouse Guy) who can be the mentor to the younger guys. And he can be the intimidating-scowl guy that was Pronk’s job for so long (to say nothing of this ). And we can finally learn the reason behind his batting stance.
On the ninth day of Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Magic that somebody can use to help Justin Masterson regain his control and continue his ascent to possibly be the ace that we thought he was becoming in 2011. Hopefully he’s kept (Boston has rued every waking moment since the minute they traded him in the Martinez deal), because there’s familiarity between him and Francona. Let’s see if his mechanics can be corrected. There’s still something there that makes Justin very enticing long-term.
On the tenth day of Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Someone who can teach Carlos Santana to shorten his swing. To teach him the wonders of “going to the opposite field.” Until that time comes, it’ll be hard to see Carlos not have elongated slumps where he gets completely pull-happy. And me (us?) not wanting to throw whatever isn’t nailed down at the TV.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: A do-over on the Ubaldo trade, complete with a time machine so we can all stop him from making the trade that has ultimately defined his career at this point, and by extension, unfairly making Ubaldo both the poster-child and scapegoat for everything that is currently in need of fixing within the Indians’ organization.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Antonetti gave to us: Glimmers of hope. Much more satisfying than partridges or pear trees.
(I dare you to sing this backwards.)