A Comedy of Errors

As I watched the Indians’ Tuesday night drubbing by the Royals,  Dr. Smith’s voice from Lost in Space kept going through my head.  The Royals jumped on Justin Masterson right from the get-go, scoring two runs in the first inning on a Mike Moustakas home run. The Indians answered with a couple runs of their own, and it was a tie ball game going into the second.

Ah yes, the second inning, when the Royals nickel and dimed the Indians for five more runs. Kansas City did it the way you’re supposed to do it–by getting base hits and moving the runners around the bags. Funny how that works. Moustakas came close to a second home run, hitting it just this side of the foul pole. Ned Yost gave the obligatory argument, but it was ruled a foul ball after review. It’s not as though Kansas City needed the home run. They had already outscored the Indians. They even managed grind out one more run in the 6th while we just managed to leave runners on base.

Masterson did finally find his groove, pitching scoreless 3rd, 4th, and 5th innings and ultimately striking out 8 in six innings, but by then our boys were already neck deep in kaka. We couldn’t put together the meaningful hits or capitalize on any of the Royals’ numerous errors to score again. The Tribe left 7 men on base and went 2-9 with men in scoring position. The Royals were for 5-8 with RISP and left only 3 men on base.

Despite all the ugliness and the 8-2 loss, there were a couple of bright spots. The first was watching catcher Luke Carlin go 0-4, yet reach base three times on three consecutive Royals errors.  The first time it happened, I thought, “Well, isn’t he lucky.” The second time: “Gee, that’s an odd coincidence.” The third time I laughed out loud.  My guess is the errors came about because the Royals fear his Mohawk, which brings me to the second bright spot. The Indians finally have a couple of players with interesting STOOPID ratings.

At the beginning of the season, I introduced the STOOPID rating, a new statistic that measures the entertainment value of watching any individual player (or manager). Luke Carlin (.2(N) + 1(A)=1.2) and Lonnie Chisenhall and his ‘stache (.2(N) + 1.2(A)=1.4) have added some much-needed oomph to an Indians lineup that was lacking in this key metric. Chisenhall’s ‘stache has the sideburns-of-the-lips panache of a ’70s porn star. A few more weeks, and Chisenhall won’t just be playing at Progressive Field, he could be working for them alongside this guy.