I’m under no pretense that you go to the ballpark expecting to find health food. I mean, does anyone really know what goes into a hot dog? *(Please note, if you do know, it’s probably better not to tell me). Plus there’s a reason they refer to a “beer gut” as a “beer gut” – that stuff’s not exactly great for your waistline either.
While looking at news from the Lake County Captains today, I happened to come across a story about this: the Moby Dick. What is the Moby Dick, you may ask? It’s the Captains’ new 4,000 calorie, 200 gram of fat fish sandwich. Situated on a 15 inch roll, it includes five quarter-pound fish fillets (1.25 pounds of fish), six ounces of clam strips, eight slices of cheese, a third-pound of French fries, a cup of cole slaw, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and tartar sauce. The final weigh-in – more than three pounds of food. This almost makes a hot dog and beer look like a salad with no dressing and a glass of water by comparison. The Captains posted a picture of it yesterday:
I have to say, at first I wasn’t that floored by this. It looks like an oversized sub! Then I saw another picture from the Captains with an adult human holding the sandwich:
I decided to take a look at one of those sites that tell you how much exercise it would take to work off a certain amount of calories. For example, a 155 lb. person would burn 1,056 calories an hour if they ran at a 9-minute mile pace. So a brisk 4-hour run is all it would take, equaling 26 miles at the 9-minute mile pace. What I’m trying to say is that you’d need to run a marathon to burn off the Moby Dick. No biggie.
Like almost every giant sandwich or giant serving of food, it comes with a challenge; eat it in an hour and you get a commemorative t-shirt and your photo on a “Champion Eaters” bulletin board at Classic Park. I’m sure it also comes with free intestinal distress for the next three days. If you decide that you’re up to the challenge, you get to sit in the “Challenge Chair” on the main concourse while you try to devour half a lake’s worth of fried seafood on a roll. (Note to self: sit as far away from “Challenge Chair” as possible this season. There are bound to be some spectacular failures in this contest).
I’ve done some stupid and self-abusive things for a free t-shirt before, but I can assure you that eating three pounds of fish sandwich won’t be one of them. As proud as it would make my loved ones to see my name on a “Champion Eaters” board at Classic Park, I’m going to have to pass on this one.